Summer + Holiday Thoughts
“Summertime in our household might not look like everyone else’s, but it is uniquely ours.”
Where we live… Summer is sacred. Nine months of the year, our weather is cold and windy and, frankly, kind of unbearable. But for three glorious months, our weather is almost perfect. Yet every summer, there is a pain in my heart because my family doesn’t do what other families do. Vacations are methodical and planned a year ahead of time. We rarely go to our family lake cabin because it causes so much stress for my son to be out of his typical environment.
I am grateful to have incredible friends around us in our neighborhood, but that also means their kids are pretty incredible, and they have friends over all the time and run between houses without a care (as they should!). We just don’t have that.
We are well into summer, and for the most part, we have figured out a routine. Our autistic 13-year-old attends therapy once a week and summer school three days a week. Fridays are planned out with his respite provider—perhaps a park, a trip to a favorite lunch spot, or finding a new book.
But as we approach the 4th of July, the pinnacle of summer, his routine is heavily disrupted. Therapists are on vacation. Summer school suspends for a few weeks. Places are busier as more people are also without scheduled activities. And we are all starting to break. When our son’s routine is disrupted, our family struggles. Adam and I grasp at straws for how to divide and conquer, and our other three children struggle in their own way.
Special needs families thrive on routine. We need it as much as we need air to breathe. And while we absolutely want to embrace summer for all it offers, our children provide some roadblocks. Over time, I’ve tried to shift my mindset to enjoy the solitude of our life amidst the chaos of our friends’ busy schedules. But it doesn’t always work.
Special needs parenting is just not the same as typical parenting. I don’t think anyone would disagree with me. Our life is just so different from the average family’s life. Summertime is not a fun time filled with activities, playdates, family outings, and laughter, as it is for most. Our days are filled with appointments, therapies, meltdowns, aggression, and setbacks.
Yet, amidst the chaos, there are moments of profound beauty and joy that make it all worthwhile. The smile on my child’s face when they achieve a milestone, however small, fills my heart with pride. The laughter that bubbles up during an unexpected moment of play reminds me of the resilience and happiness that still exists in our lives. Our family outings may be different, but they are filled with love and togetherness that bonds us even closer.
Summertime in our household might not look like everyone else's, but it is uniquely ours. It’s a time where we embrace our special kind of normal, finding joy in the little victories and strength in our community of supporters. We are fortunate to have access to incredible resources and therapists who understand our journey and walk alongside us.
As summer progresses, I remind myself to focus on the positive aspects of our life. We are a family that loves deeply and fights fiercely for each other. Our children are not defined by their challenges but by their incredible strength and spirit. Each day, we learn and grow together, finding new ways to create happiness and celebrate the unique individuals our children are.
So, while summer may be tough, it is also a season of growth and connection for us. We cherish the moments of laughter, the breakthroughs in therapy, and the unwavering love that binds our family together. Our journey may be different, but it is filled with hope and resilience. And that, I believe, is something truly special.
If you are struggling with your summers, here are a few techniques to embrace your next few months:
✨ Manage Social Media Exposure: Limit social media use, curate your feed to include positive and inclusive content, and connect with communities that understand the special-needs journey. For special-needs families, seeing these portrayals of “normal” family life can sometimes be challenging or disheartening.
✨ Arrange Therapies and Services in Advance: Ensure continuity of care during summer by booking therapy sessions and other necessary services ahead of time.
✨ Safety Measures: Implement safety strategies like ID bracelets and secure environments to prevent wandering and ensure the safety of your special-needs child.
✨ Social Stories and Preparation: Use social stories or visual aids to help your child understand and prepare for the changes and activities that summer brings.
✨ Respite Care: Plan for breaks by arranging respite care services or enlisting reliable family and friends to provide you with necessary rest and recuperation.